Spectator Or Participant?

“I’m only going to be here for a year, so I’m not going to make any friends at school.” That was my mindset going into an american high school for the very first time in my life. I was scared. I didn’t know what to expect. I only knew a handful of people that went to my church’s youth group. Probably the biggest question every teenager deals with when going to a new school is.. “Where should I sit?” I went from class to class and was generally pretty quiet. When I had enough courage, I would try and talk to the people around me in class. Then lunch time came..I had no idea who to sit with. I had no idea who anyone was. Over the course of that year..I remained pretty quiet and didn’t really try to make friends. Then half way through the school year… world turned upside down. My dad became the pastor of the church we were attending. This one year in Missouri turned into forever. I was ticked. I didn’t want to stay in the states. My friends, family and school that I loved were in Manila. When this happened, I changed my reasoning for not making any friends to this.. “I’m mad..so I’m not going to make any friends at school.” When my senior year rolled around, I realized..I’m a senior and don’t have any really good friends at school! I had a handful of people I really enjoyed hanging out with, but no one I hung out with outside of school. By the time I received my diploma, I realized that I had waisted three years of my high school life, because I chose to. I didn’t like high school and dreamed of the day I would be free from that place. I couldn’t wait to graduate and move on. I was only there when I had to be and never got involved in anything. 

Five years ago, our family got to go back to the Manila. It was amazing! We reconnected with old friends and family. We visited some of our favorite places and ate some of…well a lot of our favorite foods. We even had the chance to visit the school I loved in Manila… The school I was so sad to leave in high school. I asked my younger brother, Rob, when we were walking around the campus. “Rob, wouldn’t have been amazing if we all could have graduated from this school?” He shocked me with his answer. He said, “Tiff, I loved the high school I went to in Missouri”. I realized at that moment, that we went to the same exact high school, but I decided, even declared in my heart, that I was not going to get involved…That I wasn’t going to make any friends. And I didn’t. Rob, however, jumped in right away and was involved in everything he could. He was part of sports teams, media programs, national honors society and more. When he thinks of high school he thinks of “The glory day!” I realized that the only difference between Rob’s experience and mine, was that he participated and I was just a spectator. 

Many times, we do the same thing at church. We go in thinking, “I’m not going to get connected. I’m not going to even try.” Then we are surprised when our experience is as bad as we set out for it to be. I want to encourage you to not make the mistake I made. Do church the way Rob did High School. Get involved. Jump in. Make it your church. You will love the church you are a part of if you participate and not just spectate.